Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Clinton Derangement Syndrome


As of this moment, ABC news and the AP are saying Obama is the presumptive Democratic nominee.

However, sufferers of the what is being called Clinton Derangement Syndrome are in a heavy state of denial.

Clinton Derangement Syndrome (CDS) are the folks who - against all reason - argue that Clinton has the nomination and has won the popular vote. They either must have CDS or are using that "New Math" they tried teaching in school in the 1970s.

The sufferers of CDS come up with one excuse after another as to why Obama didn't "really" win. It's like play day at the paranoiacs conference when it comes to the sufferer. Just as the paranoiac "really" knows that he lost his job because "the CIA is beaming mind control rays into my brain", the CDS sufferer "really" knows that Hillary "really" won because "caucuses disenfranchise handicapped people" and thus aren't representative of the will of the majority of the Democrats in caucus states.

Nevermind that they haven't found a single handicapped person disenfranchised by caucus states or a single bit of evidence that indicated that handicapped persons would vote any differently than any other voters in caucus states. Evidence is not required for the CDS sufferer, just as it is not required for the paranoiac who "knows" that the CIA is beaming mind control rays into his brain.

Last Saturday when the Democrats were meeting to figure out what to do with the Florida & Michigan delegates, I got behind one of these sufferers of CDS, she was driving an old, beat up Toyota, covered in stickers, but was going 10 mph and weaving. Then she stops, then weaves her way into a parking lot where folks typically go to pay their water bill, and where we all voted in the primary. OK, she piles out of the car with a sign, dressed in dirty clothes, gray hair flying, eyes wild, and she begins to demonstrate. Problem is, a demonstration only works when you go somewhere people are, such as the capitol.

I was intrigued. I asked her why the M.U.D. office? She tells me that it's because the big oil monopoly made gas prices so high, she couldn't afford to go to the big demonstration at the state capitol. Then she began mumbling and walking around. I think someone is off her meds, but I guess that means the other folks who're just as rabid as this one about Hillary are also off their meds. I paid my water bill and left... quickly.